“When you slow yourself down and give yourself time to truly notice what is going on around you

– then you give yourself the best chance to make the right decision.”


Making decisions is really hard, whether it is choosing what to have for dinner, or a big life changing decision like whether to move house or get married choosing is hard.


You ask yourself a whole host of questions – what choice do I make? What if I make the wrong decision? The worry will take you around and around in circles, and at the end of it, you will most likely be no closer than where you were at the beginning of all the mental torture.


Making decisions is anxiety provoking. Many of us delude ourselves into thinking we are in control – that we know what is going to happen next. Making a decision takes us into that space where we have to face the prospect of not knowing how life will turn out. Making decisions makes us vulnerable, nobody likes to be wrong or appear foolish. When we make a decision it closes off a whole world of possibilities to just one option yes or no. It’s tiring, and it’s hard, especially if we feel under pressure to get it right.


How can you slow down, notice what is going on around you and give yourself the best chance to make the right decision?


  • Slow down your automatic thinking patterns and stop worrying. Notice how these repetitive patterns of worry affect your decision making. Worrying is allowing your mind to go into freefall regretting or romanticising the past or stressing about the future. Worry stops you from seeing all the options available to you. If you can stop your mind from racing away from you and slow yourself down and be more mindful, you can stop your worrying from controlling your thinking, creating emotional responses and ultimately influencing your decisions.


  • Slow down and use your logic. Weigh up all sides of the situation to give yourself clarity. If it helps make lists of the pros and cons so you can regulate your emotions and not be carried away with them. Keeping your perspective is the key. Take your time and move into your mindfulness thinking about all perspectives before making your decision.


  • Try to move out of your point of view. I know that sounds illogical as you are the person making the decision, but if you stay in your ego, it only takes in your perspective. it is natural to want to think about how a decision will impact on you. First, it called going into survival mode. It doesn’t help you to make an unbiased decision. How does being in your own head thinking about yourself influence the decisions you make?


  • Try to have an open mind about the outcome of your decision. Recognise that you can only choose what you will do – you cannot control what other people will do in response to your choices. Being mindful means being in the moment and not focussing on how you would like things to turn out. If you keep trying to direct your life, it takes you out of the moment and creates frustration be ready to make decisions in your truth and integrity as life unfolds.


If you can slow yourself down and be mindful of these factors when making decisions you give yourself the best chance of making choices that are right for you.


I empower women to make educated relationship choices, rather than change for their partner.

Choose, Don’t Change

With Love
Elizabeth R-J


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