“When you know who you are everything falls into place.”


When you have self-awareness, everything that happens to you happens for a reason and makes perfect sense. Your self-confidence builds your ability to let you take life in your stride.


Often in life, we wonder why certain events have to happen to us, or we might even survive certain events like we are in a dream, pretending they are happening to someone else. We can wish things would happen for us or ask ourselves why they always happen to other people. We can expend a lot of energy wishing things would happen, or we try everything we can to make things happen. The problem is if you don’t know who you are, you don’t know how to recognise what you need, or don’t need; you don’t know how to be in your empowerment to let go and allow everything to fall into place.


This doesn’t mean that you should just wait for good things to happen for you. You do need to put in effort in your life to create positive outcomes for yourself. You need to know yourself believe in yourself and believe in the people you choose to have around you.   When you know yourself, you can trust yourself, and you can trust others that the right thing will happen when it needs to happen.


Bad things can and do happen; you know that it is life. When you know yourself, you know the best way to navigate through the storm. Sometimes life can feel absolutely insurmountable, but self-knowledge helps you take one day at a time. Knowing that there will be an end to the turmoil and you will survive is what is important.


The self-knowledge you achieve through self-care is the effort you need to make to create a space of calmness to allow everything to progress to its natural conclusion. Just when life feels out of control, you are in control of your thoughts. If you feel your thinking spiralling our of control from one bad thought to another you can choose to feed on these thoughts and panic about life’s outcomes or you can choose to stop thinking these thoughts and focus on the positive. You can feel your feelings that go along with these thoughts, and you can choose your reactions that you share with both yourself and others.


Do not allow anyone else to define who you are. You create you, from your self-knowledge, your integrity, creating your boundaries and speaking your truth. You choose how you will react to everything that happens to you. Do not allow anyone to bait you, confuse you or disrespect you. Own your own space. You cannot make anyone do anything nor can they make you do anything.


You cannot make another person happy if you cannot make yourself happy. You can care about someone and try to help them, but you cannot take responsibility for who they choose to be. You need to take care of yourself first. No matter how much you want to, you cannot force someone to be there for you, or make that special person come into your life. A person who is the right person for you to love will come into your life when you are ready for them.


Give life the time and space to happen for you. Find your happiness in the things you enjoy. Surround yourself with people who are in the same positive space you strive for. Friends who want the best for you who care for you and support you. The people you should strive to be around are the ones who enable you to be the very best person that you can be.


Tell the people you care about that you love them. This is so important. It is part of being in your integrity, speaking your truth and being mindful that the world is an ever changing place, no matter how much we feel we can control it. Sometimes people leave our lives, and sometimes they come back into our lives. Take all of it as lessons learned and know that it is all part of life’s journey.


When life doesn’t fall into place, don’t give up. It is easy to stay focussed when life goes well; it is the people who stay true to themselves and their beliefs and values that experience the greatest personal growth. When things are bad, we need to pick ourselves up and try again. Most importantly if you need help, you need to find the humility to reach out for the help you need.


Sometimes it is best to move on in life. You can only hold onto bitterness for a period of time and then it becomes a toxic force within us. Don’t make holding back forgiveness about trying to prove something or make someone pay for what they have done. Take what you need from the experience, forgive, but not forget so you can learn and use the knowledge to protect yourself. The pain we feel may hurt, especially at first, but the experience makes us stronger emotionally for the future.


Take the time to know yourself, when you know yourself you have the confidence to let things fall into place. Live your life, do the best you can and you can know that you have been the very best you can be, whatever life creates for you.


I empower women to make educated relationship choices, rather than change for their partner.

Choose, Don’t Change

With Love
Elizabeth R-J


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